Well, another of my nephews got married Sunday night in a beautiful wedding here in town. He's working on his doctorate in astrophysics, intergalactic travel or something like that and his bride is an architect. Two absolutely wonderful people! Sunday afternoon as we were getting ready, I remarked to my husband that "Peaky's getting married today!" We used to call him that when he was a baby. Then the baby grew up to be well over 6'5"!! We recalled that "Peaky" was two months old when we married; his mom (my sister-in-law) was one of my bridesmaids. His dad was a cowboy/cop who died a few months ago from an overdose of a combo of pain meds and alcohol poisoning. He had just spent two weeks in rehab. But he thought he could handle it. The problem was with everyone else. You know that tune.

So where he would have sat in the front row they placed his cowboy hat. He's gone; his anger and resentments have robbed him of the rest of his life. "Peaky" had power of attorney and he was the one that "found" his dad. He was the one that had to take care of the aftermath. His younger brother had been disinherited because he would not participate in his dad's illness. We think he "got" it. So Peaky took care of everything and his beautiful bride-to-be and her family hosted the luncheon after the funeral.

So we all gathered to celebrate a joyous family event on Sunday with my husband's rather large family. The venue was a Tuscan-type villa. The bride was beautiful; the groom dashingly handsome. There was an open bar for a good two hours before dinner and I had my fill of Sprite. I remember when my best friend got married at a very nice resort many years ago, they had an open bar and her brother practically had to pour me into his car, still holding onto my drink as I closed the door behind me.

I had a lovely time, danced with my life partner/spousal unit/best friend and woke up the next morning and remembered everything!! How sweet is that?! I love my life today; even when it's bad, it's far better than what it used to be when I was out "there." I don't need to look very far to remember what it was like. I also know that if I were to pick up one drink, I would lose all of the fun times I have built up over the years of my sobriety. It took me a very, very, very long time to get to that point, and I don't think I want to go back to ground zero anytime soon. Soooooo, we all know what needs to be done to stay on track. Thanks. As my friend Vern says, "I think I'll take another 24."

This "Open Bar" ---the "Candy Bar" proved to far more popular than the liquor bar!!

Just wanted to put a little something on here to let you know I'm still kicking, still sober, and back to enjoying life--pain free!  I got my new crowns last week and things have finally settled down.  What we take for granted in day-to-day life, eh?  I finally bought my new MacBook last Sunday that I'd been saving for since before Christmas and enjoying learning something new.  

One of my nephews is getting married on Sunday, so I'm looking forward to seeing the entire family.  Grateful that I'm sober and can truly enjoy and remember the event the morning after.

Enjoy each day to the fullest because it all boils down to sunup to sundown. God bless and thanks for all your love & support.

(Let's try to support this site some more if we can!!)

to take away the pain from my toothache.  I was taking some prescribed Vicodin for the pain.  (Very sparingly---only 1/2 tablet every 8 hours or when the pain was really unbearable).  Also icing the right side of my face.  But between Sunday and Monday the pain was unbearable.  I was in tears and my husband finally made me call my sister-in-law, who works at our dentist's office. 

The dentist wanted me evaluated by an endodontist today for a possible root canal (great----more money that we don't have!).  Here I was in pain, painkillers not working, feeling like crap and the prospect of having to spend more money besides the grand we'd already spent on our share for the crowns I'm having put in later this week.  So I did the next right thing and called some women in the program who let me have my pity party (up to a point) and then they told me about their crazy week!  Before I knew it, the day was over and it was time to go to bed. 

Today I went to see the endodondist fully expecting to have a root canal done.  He poked, prodded, had me open, bite down, etc.  Put hot, cold, etc. on the teeth and finally he pronounced that they're still very much "alive" and I didn't need a root canal.  His expertise only cost me $70--Thank you God!!! 

By the grace of God (and I have no idea how this happened), but the pain is gone, my teeth feel fine.  This evening I was even able to chew on the right side (where I have the temporary crowns)!  I haven't been able to do that for well over a week!  So I'm in a lot of gratitude tonight and glad that I did not let that "stinkin' thinkin'" take over for the brief sojourn that I thought might give me relief.  I knew it was a bad idea, but I'm sure you can all relate to how that can take foothold.  The wonderful thing today is that we have tools we can utilize, people we can turn to for support to get us over the hump.  Yeah, fellowship!!!!!

But I DID NOT take a drink or a drug to get through it!! That's the beauty of this deal. It helps to have a spouse walk this road with you and it helps to have a LOT of program people in your cell phone!

This last Weds., my mom's caregiver arrived at her home to start her morning shift. When my mom would not answer the door or phone, she called 911. My mom had fallen and was passed out on the living room floor. Had not made it to bed the night before. Long story short, she has Alzheimer's and she spent two nights in the hospital getting her blood enzymes back in sync and properly hydrated. No broken anything. (We Czechs are hardy people!)

But if I had not had the program to give me guidance on how to do the next right thing and my husband that is an absolute rock, I would have lost it. I called my first sponsor back in Tennessee. She had recently come back into my life and now I know why. Her momma passed away last year from Alzheimer's and she walked me through the fear and attendant feelings.

A funny thing happened as I was standing on the walkway outside the ER. I was crying and talking on the phone, when a man and his family were leaving. He noticed my distress and stopped. He hugged me and said very calmly, "It's going to be okay" and held me briefly.

I think it was one of those "God moments" we talk about in our meetings. I don't think "normies" are predisposed to perform acts like that. Whatever this was, it brought me back to "right size" and I was able to get through the next hour. And that's what we do when our backs are against the wall. We don't necessarily have to get through the next year, month, or even day. Sometimes it's moment to moment. Those moments add up to minutes. The minutes rack up into hours and then you have a 24 hour period under your belt. That's what it's like in early sobriety. Sometimes you think you can't do this: quitting alcohol or drugs forever. But it's not FOREVER. It's for this moment. And then you go on to the next moment. And so on. My program has taught me how to live life like this. I am so grateful for the experience. It's NOT perfect; but I'm trudging the road SOBER for TODAY.

Thanks for letting me share once again. We are here to help one another. God bless.

Late Tuesday afternoon I attended a meeting involving our upcoming art walk here in our neck of the woods and, as before, they hold it in a South American wine bar in our neighborhood. It's a local business that is a stop on the art walk and they offer us a quiet place to conduct our meetings. Our last meeting was three hours long. We went from 5pm to 8pm. I watched the crowd filter in and out throughout that time. Patrons would walk up to the bar and discuss the wines. The bartender would pour the wine into a glass, swirl it around, hold it up to the light, the patron would sip it, and then either decide to have a glass or not. Everyone at our table was having a beer or a glass of wine after work and reviewing all of the artist applications.

At this first meeting, the three hour meeting, it didn't bother me at all. At the second meeting, which lasted about an one and a half hours, it seemed to grab me this time. Not at first, however. That's the cunning, baffling and powerful part of our disease. After the meeting two of the committee members invited me to drive to Scottsdale with them to have ice cream. Seemed innocent enough and it was a shop that made all the stuff by hand, so sure, I'll go. Well, the entire drive out and back, I listened to these two souls talk about how they needed to "cut back" on their drinking and eating to save money, etc. and how the drinking was causing memory, money problems, etc. I think you get the picture.

Then one said that he so enjoyed my company that I should go out drinking with them. The other said, "Oh, but she doesn't drink." Then they thought I could be their designated driver. (NO THANKS!) Then they spoke of how they have their tarot and some other cards read read for direction in their lives. I sat silent for most of the ride home.

After I got home to the fabulous husband, who is also in the program with me, I recounted my evening to him. What an absolute joy to be surrounded by family and friends that are in my 12 Step program and "get" me. I don't have to refer to card readings for direction because I derive direction from my Higher Power. I don't discount my friends' methods; if it works for them, my hat is off to them. I just know what works for me. "Good Orderly Direction" and "Group of Drunks" Meetings, Call your Sponsor, Prayer and Meditation. Another friend called last night and said that he is attending court-mandated alcohol classes as part of his DUI sentencing. He said that he either wanted a drink or a meeting after those classes! Amem, my brother! He had called me grumpy earlier in the day and I know exactly why: I needed to right-size my head which I can only do at an AA meeting.

So, as I write this, I apologize that I have not been around here much. I have been off on other sites, writing about other stuff, working, living life. But my heart will always be in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I can't stay sober without the love and support of my friends in these rooms. Thanks for letting me share this with you.