Yep... it's just because it's like that... rides side by side with accepting the things that I cannot change... courage to change the things I can... like my perspective... and the wisdom to know the difference... just like the "Why me?" thing... of course me, "Why not?"... and I don't have to "figure stuff out"... or find "reason"... that way, it's cool... way cool... and I get to enjoy the ride... rocketed into the 4th dimension and further...
Sorry I can never keep up with regular contact... I'm so sporadic... and I can't help it... but that's ok... cuz it's like that. My crazy medical situation has gotten more complicated... just when we think we have it under control, it changes... I'm always trying to catch up... I get confused... then I get exhausted and fall over sideways for days at a time...then I hear stuff like I "should and could" this that and the other... and oh my, often times I can't... I just can't... I'm sick... and it's hard when I don't necessarily "look sick"...
Here is a link to something that describes what it's like to be this way... what it's like to be me... if you ever wondered what it's like to fall into the category "But You Don't Look Sick"... check it out... it's called "The Spoon Theory". Christine, who wrote this, made a huge difference in my life a few years ago... and I am forever grateful for the way she touched my life. It will help you to better understand me and others... and may help you too, if you have medical issues.
Please don't take my inability personally... it's me and not you. I know it sounds easy to pick up the phone or write emails, comments, and blogs... but when I feel horrible, or spend the day at the VA, or several in NYC... or I've been on the phone, off and on all day, with nurses and doctors... from here to everywhere... I just can't bear to make another call, or touch the computer... but that doesn't mean I don't want to receive calls, emails, or messages... with God's help, I do the best i can...
This trip that I'm taking, in the morning (Mar 18-21), to the Columbia Hosp/Metabolic Bone Disease Unit in Manhattan, has been a huge huge amount of work and coordination... but the timing, God's timing, couldn't be better! When one little piece doesn't fit, we start all over again from square one... keeps it exciting with the element of surprise! LOL
Usually I travel with Mercy Medical Airlift via commercial airline tickets. This time, I am going with Angel Flights... which is by far more fun, yet tons more work. I'll meet the 1st pilot here local/Florida... he will fly me, in his little 4 seat Piper, up to South Carolina... he gives me to a pilot who takes me to Virginia... that one gives me to another pilot who takes me to New Jersey... (I'll love no chaos, security checks, and terminal waits LOL)... then I swim across the river to Manhattan and try to figure out where in the world I always stay... which is at Miracle House near Times Square.
On Thursday, I will be quite busy with my Doc and nurse... also, I will be having my 18 month bone scans, and way too many labs! Then on Friday morning I will have a tour of the AA GSO in NYC... followed by their 11:00am meeting. That evening, my daughter Aaryn, is going to be coming over, via bus from Connecticut, so we can spend a little time together, and go to the 2nd oldest meeting that Bill W started... it's in Times Square... the one where Bill W's "Peacekeeper" baseball bat hangs on a ceiling rafter... one of my favorites up there!
Saturday morning we'll try to have breakfast before dawn... then we both depart via the NYC Port Authority... me over to Teterboro NJ little airport, and Aaryn on the bus back to CT. From there, 3 more pilots/flights will bring me back to Lakeland Linder, FL.
So I'd have to say, exhaustion will be right there alongside happy, joyous, and free... which is where I am in life now anyway!
The Promises... I know them well... they are so real... and true to my life... something that I never thought was possible... I love this life, and even my exhaustion LOL Way cool!
Keep me in your prayers, and ask for God's will and now ours... Godspeed... it works! :)
Love, Terri
Here's a pic that I took, on my last trip, of "Bill W's Peacekeeper"... not very clear, so perhaps I'll get a better one this week!
And this one is of Bill's can opener... imagine how many can's of coffee he opened with this!
Vagabond... for the homeless bring me deep gratitude... for having been there, for being able to reach out there, with hope today!
Vital... I'm grateful to know that following the directions, in the Big Book, is vital to my survival!
Voice... for you and I have one today... a Voice! I might even have something to say!
Vacant... there is a vacant seat, in recovery, for anyone who wants it... one was saved for me!
Vegetate... and the ability to choose to vegetate with God and life, rather than be a vegetable within the confines of this disease!
Variable... when it comes to the Big Book's "clear cut" directions, it's not an option... it tells me exacly what to do and how to live!
Value... I'm grateful to know true Value today... to Value life in recovery... to Value my relationship with God of my understanding... and to Value others!
Valid... not only is my license valid today... but so is my life!
Violence... for being a survivor of domestic violence, I know love and peace today!
Two... Step 1, Step 2... Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Three... Step 3... Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Twelve... then Step 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11... and then 12...Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Traditions... are why it works!
Together... the first word, of the first step, is WE... we are not alone anymore! Together we can!
Tolerance...We have begun to learn Tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on the them as sick people! BB pg 70
Thinking...Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. BB pg 87
Teachable... Oh yesssssssssss! Terri can be Teachable Today! Amen!
